The Secret?
The Secret!? Maybe not.
There are some people in the world (of course, this generalization includes me) who although absolutely negative in their view of the world, are yearning for a miracle, a secret, if you may, to transform their lives into something out of their wildest fantasies. They (ahem, ‘we’) expect something that is just ‘out there’ and waiting for ‘us’ (okay) to discover this, to grant them all they ever wished and yearned for. A ‘something’ that is better classified as a story taken from the Arabian Nights (read: Aladdin and the Magic Lamp) – however, with a twist of modern inspiration, insight and well, lets say, knowledge (metaphysics, anyone) which is all incomprehensible to the common man. Yet, so much more believable.
So, okay, GUILTY AS CHARGED.
A few months back, somewhere around November 2008, life couldn’t just get any better for me. Sinking into a deep depression, with everything but bankruptcy in the face, mixed with health issues and family problems, things were just perfect.
I used to cast my quality of Pessimism as just that; a quality. Quotes like, No expectations, no disappointments was a mantra I repeated rather religiously. Then someone in my close family recommends: THE SECRET. I discarded the notion, thinking its all in the mind, these things don’t work. Then my father, whose negativity often beats mine, all but pushes me into watching the DVD.
At the end of a bad day, I say, sure, what the hell, and give it a shot. Lo and behold, it’s like overnight I am a changed person! I believe with all heart and soul in the teachings and work on being all positive.
Trying out the ‘positive vibes’ on a few small things, I come up with near-miracles. Totally convinced now.
So here, I am changing myself, becoming positive, despite the in-your-face possibility of failures, and ho! Things are not really changing.
Sure, there are the late night Solitaire games I am winning without fail. And the parking space deal – working out to be just fine. And also…umm, no that’s really about it. And be reminded, I’m nearly hitting dirt here otherwise. Things are bad.
And now I think; dude, you don’t have it in you. Despite all the trying, your negativity is probably coming into play. So whatever, half-heartedly or without much effort, I keep at the positive thinking, literally hand-to-mouth, right? Yet, I am just reminded every time, that something is amiss, and I keep on blaming myself.
Then one fine day, which is just very recently, I am craving ‘intelligent, meaningful conversation’ with anyone, which is not gossip or inane discussions poking fun at everything – but serious discussion about interesting stuff. And hah!
A friend of mine drops by at the office. Someone very well-read, exceptionally broad-minded about different concepts, the like. So I start telling her about this near-nirvana of the Secret in my life, and how I can’t seem to be working the magic in, because of my negative thinking.
As I said, this friend is very well-read. This means not that I would take everything word for word, whatever she says, but a reference is good enough to get me thinking. And what does she reveal to me? The LAW OF REPULSION.
The Law of Repulsion? Seriously? I mean all this time wasted, all the ‘positive thinking’, this near embarrassment of pasting a ‘Universal Cheque’ in front of the desk, the expectations of me becoming a Millionaire soon, blah blah – all stand null and void.
Really, I don’t know. I didn’t give the discussion much ear once I heard the negating concept of Repulsion. But then I knew what was amiss; common sense. Just pure logic.
Things don’t happen like that. Forget the world, civilizations past and beyond; let’s talk about me. I have the experience of knowing that nothing comes easy. Let’s say the two extremes of the Law of Attraction and Repulsion exist – who has the time? Not me. I can’t start learning about metaphysics and energy; all this crap to learn how my life is going to get better.
Hell, with my comprehension skills, I might be around 50 when I learn how to work these things in. By then I will probably be suffering from Lung cancer and coughing up bloody phlegm.
Before writing this post, I thought about googling this concept. It exists. It’s a concept, sure, so are many other things. I don’t have time to work on this.
So where do I stand today?
I am a confused, half-baked optimist, possibly filing for bankruptcy sometime soon. How has THE SECRET helped me? Well, I am still winning the Solitaire games. Yeah that’s pretty much about it. No more parking spaces either.
I don’t know. Maybe it works for some, doesn’t work for others? Who cares? I need money, and stability; pronto. No bullshit.
And one of my first posts, about Irony and optimism? Sure, I still stand by that.
Optimism is good. Good for the system, good to hope, works in keeping things light. But, in moderation. Pessimism, keeps you a step ahead.
So now I agree on a middle point, not either extreme.
I am sooo generalized now. Sad.
Am I livin’ it right? #1
An interview of a very admirable TV personality and famous, sometimes-controversial, lawyer, got me thinking; about the existence of man today, the pomposity and grandeur associated with material accumulation, faux respect gained through this and what in the end our being actually amounts to.
This could well be disregarded as another philosophical discussion, which makes sense only for the much experienced and those worn in life. I would however, digress. In my opinion, an evaluation of our existence, worth and way of life are in the end, are imperative for a jolt to reality and to lead a blissful, satisfied life.
What follows has at the moment, nothing much to do with what I have mentioned-above, but read on for the sake of exasperation only 🙂
I, as an individual, amount to zilch when I stand alone against the rest of the world’s populace, or even the inhabitants of my own city/ county. My worth as a human being accounts for nothing. In cosmic time, my life span of perhaps on average, 60 years, would be just a spark.
Pfftt. This is what my life story is, according to the universe.
Then, why all this hype about life and different insights of scholars and others about life being a piece of cake, unfair or fair, a struggle, equal to 4 days long , etc? Why bother about morality, ethics, principles, goodness, decency, integrity or their other extremes, when you don’t really know what the purpose is, of your existence, of your creation, who created you, is there a God, yada, yada?
Scores of religions have come into being and gone extinct, few remain most revered today; you can count them on your fingertips. Each one, I believe, teaches man of the way of life, or attempts to do so, depending on interpretation. There are varied references to the existence of man and the meaning of life in all of them, there is this constant, sometimes formidable reference of God, the Almighty or the Force, who is holding the reigns and is the creator. And then there are the Atheists and Agnostics with their theories and presumptions.
But not one really has been able to satiate my human thirst for the answer to this particular question, in the way that I would like.
Then I came to an understanding. I don’t believe we are ready for this answer, nor does the answer want to be discovered. There is this big Game at play perhaps, with life form being a mere embellishment to the Game field, and the rules and scope of the sport are hidden. I accept the vague and then go on with life as it comes. But then, that is not it.
Sure, there are no two ways about it; I do exist, I am a part of this world, this universe, or perhaps in my twisted mind, part of the Game as well. It can’t be helped; I’m alive and I have got to live this life.
Now, leaving the above speculation at rest, what about daily life? The hustle-bustle, the race, the constant pursuit of satisfaction, of happiness and contentment? Concerns of status, prestige, integrity and respect? These are much real problems. Screw the bull-shit about the universe and existence, right?
I have grown up in a country ridden with corruption, dishonesty, bribery, deceit, treachery and vice. I have been raised to be an upstanding, loyal, perhaps-patriotic, concerned, caring, compassionate and thoughtful person by one parent – whereas, the other, although subscribes to the former mentioned parents ideals, had also exposed thy nubile mind to excessive drinking, domestic violence, child abuse in the form of violence, prostitution, illicit affairs, the like.
I am not blaming here, just bringing to light the kind of exposure meted out for the development of a young mind. I stand today with street smarts, book smarts, and have preconceived notions of how I want my life to be.
But it doesn’t end here. My environment does not let me flourish within the means of the ideals I have been raised with. It coaxes me to cross the line between right, or not, which is very thin.
Co-existing since birth around people with wealth as well as those unfortunate souls who work their rears off to no benefit, I have wanted to have excessive wealth, the freedom to spend, to be able to help those in need, and to never feel helpless. I had and still have, dreams of how to achieve this, phases of brooding where I morosely analyze my inability to manage this, and again more ideas for accomplishing all this.
Then just today, I had to sit down and reconsider this all. Please read the first paragraph of this entry for enlightenment.
This whole entry does not make real sense but perhaps it is best I ramble and write out all my thoughts. To be continued in a follow-up post.
Thinking Aloud 